Wow life is really different than I thought it would be.

I guess the title says it all. In the last 2 years I have gone from a very lonely sad person to someone that was making plans with her brother for the future to now a person that is facing the rest of her life as an old child now missing her brother. I lost JD back in March before my birthday. He was going to move in and we had such plans for life. Now I face each day without him and wishes I could have gone back to before he died and made him come here sooner. Damn I miss him. Some days are good and others are really bad and lonely. My husband and parents are great in helping me get over all of this but it doesn't seem to be working. Need to find a way to honor him and our plans that we had.

I made it

Well I managed to make it through RNY surgery on April 20th. I can't say that is has all been easy but it will all be worth it. I spend most of my time posting to the washington state board on http://www.obesityhelp.com/ my user name there is dewy3.

Starting to think.....

I am starting to think about doing some major changes in my life. I am a BBW and need to think about my life and how I want to live. I am looking into the South Beach Diet and I am looking into joining the local YMCA. But I also know that I will need help from friends or even strangers. I just can't do this on my own. I feel like I am on my own for way too many things and that I don't have friends to rely on when I need them.